To stay or not to stay?

s0hMood > *undecided*

Many times before have people asked me if I will be heading back to Jagung Land after my graduation (assuming that I do graduate, of course =P). And whilst others may take a few years to finally come to a decision, I sternly replied n-o, NO. The main reason being I didn’t wanted to work for the Government for 3 years when I could have already be practicing in private dent surgeries. While working in a public hospital ain’t such a bad idea since I am (will be) indeed a fresh grad, but I despise the idea of being forced to do something just to acquire the license to practise in Malaysia when elsewhere, I am already a full-fledge registered dent. The point of whether or not I want to help is of little importance. The thing is, why is it compulsory? It really should be optional instead of forcing fresh grads into the public sector. Wouldn’t they rather have willingly determined people to serve the public than some rebellious unhappy people do that?

Anyway, what I wanted to say actually is that despite that being the main reason deterring me from heading back, there’s also others like job prospects (since dent so unpopular…), future, financial considerations etc. I know some people will be thinking, what about your family? Your friends? Well, my family wanted me to stay, and my friends will probably want me to go back. I myself actually don’t really mind, although for most of the time, the clear choice has been to continue staying here. It has been what I wanted all the time since I arrived 4 years ago, until recently when I arrived here once again. I was a lil depressed, and I started to think, maybe what I wanted ain’t here? Put aside the Government service thingy. Jagung land is afterall the place I have been living for 18 long years. Even after being here for quite some time already, I do feel extremely happy everytime I am back in the place, with the people and doing things I am familiar with. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy over here in Adl, but it isn’t the same. I remember how frustrated I got when I stepped into Adl this year after finding everything so familiar, sheesh, like the rubbish bins and trees are trying to remind me I’m not in KL.

So, do I really want to stay here? Sigh. I didn’t manage to figure it out. I think in the end, it will all depends to what happened in the next 3 years. Maybe I will stay, maybe I won’t. Whatever happen in the future, I just hope I won’t regret the decision. Perhaps the me in 3 years time, looking back at this post will feel real ridiculous, but this is to remind myself that, I was at one point really inclined to the option of going back, despite having to get low low pay, OMG!! I can’t even start to believe myself lol.


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