Pondering..

s0hMood > *Need to work hard*

It’s officially Monday. The beginning of the never-ending school term T-T Enough rant about that cause I’ve practically went on and on for the past 5 posts already. Lol. The good thing is my brain can start functioning again. It went completely ballistic after DCP, while waiting for the double-killer DnD. Enough about exams too. They are soooo overrated. Sighs. But it helps me get my degree.

Which made me think about life after graduation. Again. Whenever I feel like Dentistry is getting the best of me, I will just sit back and imagine myself as a full-fledge dentist. The thing is though, I can’t quite put a picture in my head. It’s empty. Nada. Despite the constant self reassurance that my future will be as bright as the OZ sun (surely no where else can beat the strong UV rays penetrating through the non-existing ozone layer for fish’s sake). Will it really be I wonder? Hmm. It’s largely due to the fact that I cannot see myself graduating *touch wood* I just don’t know why. It’s not too far away you know, like I’m already half way through the course (if I passed the exams) and the half BDS ball is coming hehehehe (I’m not a fan of these events usually, but hey, it’s a once in a lifetime thing). I can never put myself in the shoes of that wealthy dentist that all my friends proclaimed. Of course I would very much like that though – imagine all the food and shopping and travel I can do =)

I think I’m just being insecure. Like I dare not imagine anything after graduation, for fear that I wouldn’t actually make it in the end. It’s like a self-restraining thing where I just put down my hopes, not wanting them to get crushed. I suppose this way, I won’t feel as sad if they didn’t materialize in the end. I just hate feeling disappointed. To me, it’s also a pride thing. If I’ve shown too openly that I’ll get there, then the pressure is on for me to make sure I achieve it as it would be quite embarrassing if I don’t. So I tried to lay low, just in case if anything happens you know, at least I can then comfort myself by saying, it’s nothing, and I don’t really care.

I’m not sure if it’s just me feeling this way or what? It’s just kind of weird. Cause I do try to pass every single exam (maybe not as hard as I should have, but I do try harder each year). So I’ll get there someday I think (Dec 2010 to be precise, I DO NOT WANT TO REPEAT *pray to Buddha, Guan Yin, Jesus, God etc etc*). But I really do hope I’ll get there. Like seriously. I have to. No matter what, for the sake of me self. And my parents. I want to be a child that can do them proud. It’s time like this that I can bring myself to fully embrace the future ‘Dr’ address with no scorns and what’s not (I just think it’s inappropriate that they call dentists doctors la, cause we’re like totally different!!!). Though my parents aren’t exactly the type who will go around telling randoms, “Ma dother is a lokterrrrrrr leh”. But at least they can retort that back to another bragging parent (gosh I hate them so much, like only your son/daughter is smart and everyone else is stupid, my ass la, when your kid can turn back time, then you can talk).

Gosh. Again I blogged much more than intended. And steered wayyyyyy past from my original intention. Which is to say I was blog hopping just then and felt a truckload of regret pouring over me. Sob sob, My chatbox………..! Now now, I shall go to sleep – lab tomorrow. Ciaoz.

Advertisements

5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    viv said,

    Rofl.

    Lokterrrrrr Kong, mat gam dai gam chook!!

  2. 2

    s0hp0h said,

    ? it wasn’t emo.. more like spur of the moment thing =P

  3. 3

    summer said,

    wow… new blog o… i’m GREEN with envy ;P
    lol… hope u’ll hv a great sem ahead, Dr K… lol… maybe u can create a new series, Dr K that talks abt dentists n cases they do… like House MD (which i totally like!) lol…

  4. 4

    s0hp0h said,

    summer: LOLOLOL. YALOR. I always think, why they dun have any drama on dentists? (prolly not interesting enough, haha, afterall who wants to watch a show with dirty mouths every 30 secs) And everytime when they do have a dentist as a character, they are probably crazy murderers or have some mental problems one lorrrrrrrr.

  5. 5

    summer said,

    hahaha… NOW u are scaring me… now i won’t look at dentists the same way again lor.. lol… ya lor, prolly not enuf unique cases to keep the audience excited.. unless the actors n actresses r sibeh handsome n pretty… lol… or maybe they should make Dentist Idol.. after all, there are so many this n that competition/reality show nowadays.. compete pulling teeth in less than a min. how cool is that? LOL… not to mention painful… ur new blog is very nice (n alive unlike mine, hehehe… i’m jz too lazy bum bum to update, duno y everytime i wana let say post pics, the line is sibeh slow..lol..) keep up the good work! n gambate in going thru the painful days.. just think, how nice your teeth will be after this.. no pain, no gain ;P


Comment RSS · TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: